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This week marks 6 years and one month since my Daddy went to be with Jesus. The year before that my grandparents died eight weeks apart. It took a long time but most days I’m ok. Everyone once in a while, my grief hits me and I need a way to cope with it.
6 ways to survive with grief
Grief affects everyone differently. People have said to me that it will eventually go away. It doesn’t. I will always miss my Daddy and my grandparents! I look forward to seeing them again in heaven. But, I have found some things that help me SURVIVE my grief.
You can never pray too much. It’s not possible. The Bible says to pray without ceasing!'Pray without ceasing.' - 1 Thessalonians 5:17 (NASB)Click To Tweet
After my dad died I went through the stages of grief. I mean, I had lost so many important people in my life, in such a short time! When I was in the anger stage, I would pray and I was so mad at God. He took my Daddy so young. He was only 50 years old. I would ask God why He let my dad die instead of healing him. It was a very hard time. Now I pray and thank Him for the amazing father He blessed me with!
Meditate on scripture
Along with praying, scripture is so helpful with grief. God has given us His love letter to us. There are verses for pretty much every situation we go through in life. When you read the Bible and meditate on it, it is like hearing from God.
One verse I found about grief is from John chapter 16.'Therefore you too have grief now; but I will see you again, and your heart will rejoice, and no one will take your joy away from you.' - John 16:22 (NASB)Click To Tweet
I love this verse. God understands grief, but He wants us to have joy in our life!
Remember the good times
I miss my Daddy and my grandparents so much. I love to remember the good times I’ve had with them. Things remind me of them all the time.
The other day I saw a funny video about being addicted to Chick-fil-A. When my sister worked there, my dad used to go there for breakfast and stay long enough to get lunch too! He was self-employed, so he would meet people there, make phone calls, and work on paperwork. Everyone who worked there knew him and loved him.
Every time I see an upright piano I think of my Grandma. She would play her’s almost every day! I would sit next to her and sing as she played hymns. Those were very special times. She taught me how to play. Then when I learned to play the guitar, I would play along with her. I also loved her hands. Watching her play the piano or just holding her hands. I’ll never forget that. I’m so grateful I have a picture of her hands.
My Grandpa had a workshop in their garage. I loved to go sit with him while he worked on his wood making projects. My birthdate is even written in the concrete floor of his workshop! I would help him do little projects around their house. I was his buddy. He loved me and my sister so much that he would let us “perm” his hair with Grandma’s curlers! We definitely had him wrapped around our fingers!
I miss them all very much. I am so thankful that I have such wonderful memories of them. It makes living with my grief much easier.
Visit the grave or special place
I don’t get to visit my grandparents’ graves much because they are in another state. I do go visit my dad’s grave. Even if it’s only for a couple of minutes. Sometimes I will sit there and talk to him. I know he’s not there anymore. He’s in heaven with Jesus! I am reassured that I will see him and my grandparents again one day. But visiting his grave helps me.
When I’m having a bad day or missing him a lot, I’ll go visit. If I’m not able to go there, I’ll go somewhere peaceful and look at pictures or just remember things about them.
Do something in memory
There are so many things you can do in memory of a loved one. From giving to charity or doing charity work. You can do something they loved to do. Plant a tree or flowers to remember them.
In November 2012, we went to Disney World. Daddy LOVED going there! I’m so thankful we got to go a few times with him. He never got to see it decorated for Christmas though. That was one thing he always wanted to do. So the year he died, my mom paid for her, me, my sister, my husband and my aunt to all go to Disney World. We got to see some of it decorated for Christmas. I thought about him the whole time. He would have loved it.
Spend quality time with your loved ones who are still here
I think this is one of the most important! After losing 3 people that I was incredibly close with, it makes me understand even more how important it is to spend quality time with your loved ones. Not just time in the same room, on your phone or whatever. But time talking with them. Hugging them. Cherishing them. You never know when they will be gone.
My Grandpa and my Daddy were gone so suddenly! We didn’t really get to say goodbye. We knew Grandma was dying so we were able to say goodbye. I never got to see my Grandpa alive after Grandma’s funeral. He died 8 weeks to the day after her. And Daddy was supposed to be getting better when he had a blood clot that killed him.
You just never know when life will end. Don’t take your family and friends for granted! Tell them you love them every day.
Grief is the hardest thing I’ve had to live with. But God is with me every day, helping me survive.